Christmas is looming on the horizon waiting to swallow me whole. But even though I'm nowhere near ready for the big bad holiday monster, I'm not scared at all. Nope, I'm not gonna panic because I know that one of those wonderful alpha males I write about will save the day. He'll swing in on a vine made of tinsel wearing nothing but a pair of tastefully worn jeans. He'll come to my rescue and volunteer to do all that last minute shopping. And he'll do it with a sexy smile and a wink. Then, he'll give me an hour long foot massage. Oh yeah baby!
Yeah any minute now, it's gonna happen.
Where in the heck is he?
Okay, reality check. There's really no hyped up hottie coming to rescue me from retail hell. Nobody who'll come sliding in at the last minute bearing bags of toys for all the girls and boys. (Sorry Santa, you don't count) I'm not that lost in my own little fantasy world.
It's just me and my cute, quirky hubby against those who wish to sacrifice us upon the altar of capitilism. We'll arm ourselves with iced coffees knowing that if things get hairy at least we'll be highly caffeinated and can run away really fast. The credit cards will scream for mercy, however, we'll be firm and press onward fighting the good fight until good triumphs over evil once more in the quest for the perfect gifts for the ones we love! Or barring that, whatever's left after everything else has been picked over by the vultures also known as...
The Early Birds!
We don't like them, but we promise ourselves we'll be one of them next year. Yeah, we did say that last year, how'd you know?
Jenna
Tonight We Shop In HELL.. mart
5 comments:
Good luck with your shopping, Jenna. Be sure and have one of those iced coffees before you hit the Big W.
Online shopping is my friend. I've found that if I can't get it at Amazon, then it don't need to be got. Dratted Christmas hell season.
I've decided that I may have to employ tactics best left unwritten when going into the Mall and the Hellmart. To write them down would incriminate me. I'm going to have to hurt someone before the Christmas retail rush is done.. I know this.
Hell-mart. Gotta love that. This year I told the boys to order what they wanted online, and charge it to me. I may even let them wrap it! Of course, this only works with older kids...
Happy freaking Holidays!
~Jamie
Ah yes, the Queen of the Hill understands the pains of Retail Hell. I knew you would, Jamie. LOL!
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