07 February 2008

Thirteen Greek Gods to invite to your next big party.

Okay, my first 'official' post isn't scheduled until Sunday (and I STILL don't have a topic!) but since today's an open day for the Thursday 13, I thought I'd drop by and give you 13 Greek gods. My upcoming Samhain book, THE CROWN OF ZEUS, has a heavy Greek mythology content (as if you couldn't tell by the title, the cover might give it away). So, in honor of the book, I present a list of the best and brightest Mt. Olympus has to offer, and what you can expect if you invite them to your house for a party:

1. Zeus. Oh, c'mon, you know him. Big guy, head honcho, defeated the Titans, chucks lightning bolts at folks. Tends to turn himself into things, like showers of gold or swans, in order to seduce young mortals and getting them knocked up. Looks a lot like Lawrence Olivier. If you invite him, make sure you have room for his entourage and security to chase away the paparazzi.

2. Hera. Zeus' wife. What a tough job that must be! She's got to look the other way while Hubby's off making demi-god babies, plus keep Mt. Olympus clean and ready for guests. Don't blame her for raining down terror and fire on earth - she needs an outlet for her frustration just like the rest of us. Make sure you keep the punch bowl filled and Zeus on the other end of the room.

3. Poseidon. Zeus's brother, God of the Sea. You can recognize him at the family reunion by his trident - the pointy pitchfork looking thingy. Likes to hang with mermaids, digs pool parties.

4. Hades. Completes the trifecta of the Brothers Immortal. Poor guy got the bum's rush, the short straw. Zeus gets the air and to rule Mt. Olympus, Poseidon gets to rule the sea, and poor Hades got stuck with the Underworld. He may still be a little upset about it, so if he's touchy when you cross the river Styx, give him a break. He probably won't come even if you invite him, but he's got good party tricks, like 'Look who I can bring back from the Dead!'.

5. Athena. She's the daughter of Zeus and Metis. If she's got relationship issues, it's because her father ATE her mother before she was born, and she had to burst out of his HEAD to make it into the world. Yeah. But swimming through the brains of the #1 god on the mount made her super-smart. She's the Goddess of knowledge and all things civilized about war. AND she's the virgin goddess, belonging to no man, only herself. Well, who can blame her? She'll organize all the party games and make sure everyone plays fair.

6. Aphrodite. Goddess of Love. What else can I say? This time of year she's at the peak of her powers, feeling all the Valentine's day love in the air. Mortal men are putty in her hands. There's no stopping it. So run on out and invoke her this week; she'll be glad to give you a hand for the big V. Maybe you'll get yourself a big O. (man, this hanging out with romance writers is starting to rub off on me!) At the party, though, every man in the room will be staring at her, and every woman will be jealous. Might wanna rethink that one.

7. Ares. Bad news, this guy. Not just the God of War, but the god of savage war. Bloodlust. He likes nothing better than when people get into nasty fights that end up with someone leaking fluids all over the floor. Don't invite him unless you WANT the cops to show up.

8. Demeter. Goddess of Nature and Agricultural Fertility. She's a nice enough lady, but, as the saying goes, it's not nice to fool with Mother Nature. Hades tricked her poor daughter Persephone, and now she's got to spend half the year down in the Underworld. Which makes Demeter not the happiest camper, and her moods get all kinds of wonky. Hurricane season? Try PMS. Catch her in the Spring, when she's ready for a party, and she'll be the belle of the ball!

9. Hestia. Not many talk about poor Hestia. She's the sister of Zeus, Posidon and Hades, which means she was born of a Titan - Cronos to be exact. She's the Goddess of Hearth and Home. When they say 'keep the home fires burning', it's not a metaphor. In Ancient Greece, the hearth fire of the home could NOT be extinguished or re-lit without a proper ritual and offering to Hestia. She keeps the peace, and even gave up her seat as one of the Twelve Olympians to Dionysis. What a doll! Kind of a homebody, though, so don't expect her to show up.

10. Apollo. God of the Sun. Literally reponsible to keep the sun coming up every day. Also noted as God of Poetry, Art and Truth. Decent enough chap - nice, sunny disposition, decent body, loves the beach, good with children. Busy schedule, though, so not much for socializing.

11. Artemis. She's Apollo's sister, which means she's repsonsible for the moon. Also Goddess of the Hunt, and takes care of maidens here on earth. If you're having an archery contest, you can't find anyone better than Artemis. She's even got her own bow and arrows. Unfortunately she's only available once every 28 days, so you'll have to catch her early if you want her to go anywhere.

12. Hephaesteus. Man, oh man, does this guy have upper body strength! If you like a big, strapping type of god, Hephaestus is your guy. You'll just have to ignore the smell - long hours working in the forge, creating metalworks for the gods, is smelly work. Zeus just keeps on using those lightning bolts, and its tough keeping up with the demand. I'd invite him just so I could look at him.

13. Hermes. Mt. Olympus Postal Service. Poor little guy gets the grunt work, delivering messages all over the place. He's got some help, with those rockin' winged sandals and hat, but still. At least he gets good benefits. I'd invite him to the party, just because I think the guy needs to relax!

That's it! Thirteen Greek Gods you can invite to your next big shindig!

Make every day magical!

Christine
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