10 May 2010

Mother's Day Perspective


Thirteen months ago My Sweetie’s nephew came to live with us. Suddenly having a fifteen year old spring up in our lives in just our mid-thirties was an unexpected surprise to say the least. There have been a great deal of ups and down in the time period concerning the circumstances that led him to live with us along with all the turmoil that’s part of the puberty package. Despite all of that I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Safe and driving me crazy or off in parts unknown—not even a contest.

I have strong maternal feelings but I haven’t given a second thought to waiting to have a baby. It’s been the right decision for us and our plan of starting next year is right on track. “The Plan” and 2011 is what I think of when motherhood comes to mind. So imagine my surprise when I began my rounds of calls yesterday morning and my “Happy Mother’s Day” greetings were met with “Happy Mother’s Day to you too!” What? Me? A mother? Already?

There were other people’s children in my house from the age of 8 to 18. I’ve had a hand, (sometimes miniscule other times significant) in raising more than my fair share of children and thought nothing of extending that yet again as an adult. But I realized it meant something different this time around. This time I’m directly responsible for the outcome of another beings sense-of-self and part of how they turn out as an adult. Before I was peripheral to the grown-ups around us, now I AM the grown-up, doing the hard job day in and day out that somehow always seems worth it.

Hearing “Happy Mother’s Day” Sunday—well before I thought it would apply—gave me only a single acceptable topic for today. For all of you out there who are moms, moms-to-be or who non-traditionally mother someone but who didn’t hear the words yesterday I want to say HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU TOO.
Whether you have grown, forgetful children, young children who didn’t understand, are pregnant, in the process of adopting, are a foster parent, a guardian, a maternal friend to a young person, a mother-sister-friend to an adult, feel like a mom but are recognized as dad, or all your children are of the four-legged furry variety; if you nurture and grow another living, thriving life and it makes them or you a better person for it, you are everything we mean when we say the word mother and I salute you and tell you thank you for all those who forgot or simply didn’t see it. May we always have you to count on.
~X
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