Dark and Delicious

We are gathered here today to discuss that noblest of foods, the very heart of which is a chemical compound so divine it is called "theobromide," or "food of the gods":

CHOCOLATE

And not just any chocolate, either, folks; no, today, we are gathered to discuss the only kind of chocolate worth discussing and that would be

DARK CHOCOLATE

Dark chocolate even has articles written about its health benefits.  But here's the thing, folks:  dark chocolate means you get more sex.  It means you're more intelligent.  It means you're funnier and more attractive.

In short, dark chocolate is the perfect food.

Dark chocolate in coffee is even better.

And dark chocolate drizzled on my lover's stomach to be licked off...

In the meantime, while you're waiting, here are some chocolate links:

• Valrohna
• Vosges
• Scharffen Berger
• Ghirardelli

Stormy Weather

It’s been Stormy Weather days around here lately, both literally and metaphorically speaking.  Here, take a look :

That’s the tree that used to be in my backyard.  Now, most of it is on my neighbor’s roof – except for the part that is crushing my fence.  All of this thanks to a wind storm that swept through town yesterday, part of a streak of rain, tornados, and hail that has harassed much of the south east this week.  You can imagine the past 24 hours have been more eventful than I like, as we deal with insurance, tree removal companies, and the like.

Stormy weather indeed.  If this is what spring is going to be like, please take me back to my cold and rainy winter.  Or jump me ahead to summer.  Have you seen the sun lately?  Or are the skies just as dark in your corner of the world?

There have been storms in the book world this week as well.  Amazon had a “glitch” (as they are calling it), and a large number of books were removed from their search and best seller lists.  A large number of authors were impacted by this, as their books could no longer be found on Amazon.  That it happened over Easter weekend fed the conspiracy theorists, as well as slowing response times, and it was late Monday before Amazon was ready to release an explanation and begin returning the books to their listings.  I spent a lot of time (too much, really) following along some of the hundreds – thousands? – of online conversations about what was happening.  And came out of it with nothing more than a lot of dissatisfaction at how it was handled, a lot of lost hours, and a feeling that mega-corporations that have too much influence on any part of a market are a bad, bad thing.

And hey – it’s tax day in the US!  Stormy weather indeed, as many people are having a tough time paying for food and a home, never mind sending a check to the government for taxes owed.  If you find yourself in that unfortunate situation, please remember – even if you can’t pay them, you’re doing yourself a favor by filing before deadline.  Putting this particular paperwork off can result in some particularly dark skies on your horizon.

~~

I know that these stormy days will pass, and we’ll soon have bright skies and fairer days.  But until they do, I think I’m going to snitch a piece of candy from the kids Easter basket and bury myself in the Christmas story I’m nearing the end on.  If there are going to be bad days, at least I’ve got chocolate and writing.

It's the most wonderful (chocolate) time of the year

Or it will be on Monday—Easter Monday, my favorite day of the year. That’s the day Easter candy goes on sale for half price—marshmallow Peeps, crystal sugar diorama eggs and my personal favorite, dark chocolate bunnies. I’m getting all gooey just thinking about it.

Which is entirely appropriate considering chocolate’s reputation as an aphrodisiac. As with most edible sex aids, nobody’s quite sure how the connection between chocolate and sex arose, but it seems to have been there from the beginning. Both the Aztec goddess and Mayan god of fertility were associated with the cocoa tree and the beverage known as xocolatl.

The conquistadors who brought the drink home to Europe didn’t care about that. The beverage’s stimulating qualities (both in terms of its energizing effects and its ability to lubricate polite conversation) and its profit-making potential struck them far more important—not to mention allowed them to distance it from all that nasty human sacrifice stuff. Then came the glorious inventions of Joseph S. Fry (the first true chocolate bar) and Rodolphe Lindt (the process which transformed gritty chocolate into the luscious, lubricious Newtonian fluid it is today).

Modern scientists talk about the way the various compounds in chocolate affect mood and blood pressure. Personally, I think the answer’s a lot simpler, at least for those of us living in the chocolate paradise otherwise known as the 21st century. The stuff’s a feast for the senses.

It’s beautiful. Consider the divine darkness of semi-sweet, the friendly brown of milk chocolate and the glossy creaminess of the white. Consider the aroma. I think heaven must smell like the wind blowing just the right way through Hershey, PA. Then there’s the taste—complex, rich and oh so decadent—and its divine viscosity. So creamy. So begging for the faint tang of salt that comes from licking it off your lover’s skin. Chocolate-covered pretzels can’t even come close.

Then there’s Johnny Depp in Chocolat… That deserves a blog all to itself. ;-) But until I get to it, happy eating!