Hey All,
Come take a peek at my latest story that I posted on my forum. The 1001 CTR Knights it is adult only alas but it's also rather tongue in cheek if you like a bit of humor.
oh, if you want to comment you'll have to register, it's free and the forum can be fun. If you do register please put me down as your referrer and one day I'll get a dinky image to put in my profile :)
Thanks.
SJ.
Step Into The Mists with our adventurous band of award-winning authors to otherworlds of paranormal, SF, fantasy and speculative romance. Nervous? Don't be. The creatures that live here are friendly. Most of the time... This blog is for age 18 and over only.
Showing posts with label s.j.willing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label s.j.willing. Show all posts
05 February 2008
Wheeee!
Two great reviews for Poseidon VII just been posted on the net. One new and one ages old but just finally made public. And here they are:
A five rating from Just Erotic Romance Reviews.
A four angel rating from Fallen Angel Reviews.
Hey, I have to boast a little now and then :)
S.J.
A five rating from Just Erotic Romance Reviews.
A four angel rating from Fallen Angel Reviews.
Hey, I have to boast a little now and then :)
S.J.
01 February 2008
Covering Up!
A.K.A. Where on earth has it been?
You’ve just watched the latest show of Jerry Springer and discovered that perhaps sex could have an unpleasant side to it. After all, how long have you known this superlover of yours. And, let’s face it, to become a superlover requires practice, lots of practice. Just how many disease-ridden trollops did he learn his craft with, hmm? Okay, so a year and a half after you first took him to bed seems a little late to think about safe sex but, hell, who says you can’t make up for lost time.
The difficult part is presenting your case and having your beau agree. Should you surreptitiously just slip a Trojan on him when he’s not looking? Should you have the latex surgically attached to his nether regions for worry-free sex? Or perhaps you need to seriously reconsider your relationship because you just know his dipstick is checking out every sump in town. Never fear, Agent Double D.3 has risked life, limb and a million dollars of shares in the local prophylactic factory to bring you this special report -- Where on Earth has it been?
Agent Double D.3 reports:
1. Vampires: These fellas have been around for years. Before you were even born he’s had his share of roman orgies, naked druid sex orgies, er, religious rites. Not to mention he probably knew every whore in regency London by name and pubic hair type. Being dead kinda makes you immune to worring about things like AIDS, herpes and all those other little problems that score better on a scrabble board than on a date. But hang on for a bit and don’t immediately go for the emasculation/surgically-implanted-latex-condom solution. Being dead also means those little bugs and viral things can’t live in him either, though they can live a few short days on his skin. So, just as long as you scour his genitals with bleach and scouring powder every time before sex you’ll get along fine. If he starts to complain, well, that’s why you do it pantiless, of course…
2. Werewolves: The one thing you’ve got going for you here is that wolves mate until death. Unfortunately werewolves also tend to live a trifle longer than humans. Regardless, it means he will have had far fewer sexual encounters than his cousin the vampire. All you need to do is keep a handy thirty pack of condoms ready (that should last a couple of days) and insist on him using them. At least make him use them until the werewolf doctor has done the necessary tests and pronounced him clear. After that toss the icky things into the local recycling bin (remember colored condoms in the pink bin, plain in the white and bumpy ones in the red.) Does he feel unhappy with this state of affairs? Console him a little by tossing him a few pounds of prime rib and then artfully present yourself, pantiless and whipped cream at the ready, for dessert.
3. Ghosts: I don’t care how many condoms you buy, or how small you get them. There ain’t no way you’re going to get one to stick on this guy no matter how hard you try. Not that it matters much since physical contact isn’t your lover’s forte and even if he had a dozen lovers most bacterium will either freeze to death on contact or beat a hasty retreat to the other side of the hosts body. Be tactful, though. Your research may have determined his probable cause of death as a hefty dose of syphilis but it’s wise not to bring it up. After all, wouldn’t you rather experience the soft chills of lustful fingers than a dead man’s cold shoulder?
4. Invisible men: Don’t listen to him. Yes, we all know he is a brilliant, nay, genius of a scientist. In this instance, though, he is wrong. Just be cause he is invisible doesn’t mean the STD bugs can’t see him to infect him. Don’t be fooled by his elongated explanation of invisible condoms either. If he doesn’t wear his cover provided by you, he’s not getting under your cover either. Of course, once he’s been given the all clear by the doc, no problem. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to spray a little disinfectant over his bits when you start each lust filled session. A girl has to look after herself, you know.
5. Mermen: For some obscure reason merfolk appear to be immune to almost all of the regular STD’s. Your main problem lass, you guessed it, is crabs. And we’re talking huge suckers here not your regular run-of-the-mill guys. And watch out for those barnacles too. The best thing is to keep your legs clammed shut until you’ve performed the only known cure. Have him sit his naked butt in a pot of boiling water until you’ve cooked those suckers good. A year or two later, after he’s fully recovered, reward him with a special wine, dinner and pantiless evening. Crabcakes always go down well…
6. Incubus: Safe sex? Trust me hon, there ain’t enough condoms in the world to deal with this guy’s needs. Best if you stick with your friend Rosy Palmer on this one and let the rest of the world succumb to his disease-ridden blaze of glory. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a nice stable werewolf next time around.
7. Djinn: Mention AIDS to a djinn and you’ll find your living room suddenly full of half a dozen highly competent assistants. Let’s face it. You get a nasty illness, one flick of his tawny braid and boom, you’re in perfect health. As for catching an STD from him, come on. Have you ever seen a sick genie? (And yeah, we know all about those Persian dancing girls.) So trust him a little, or not. Either way he’ll be magicking those panties away from you in a moment's notice so why not go along with things and just enjoy. Do you really need condoms anyway?
Agent Double D.3 report ends.
You’ve just watched the latest show of Jerry Springer and discovered that perhaps sex could have an unpleasant side to it. After all, how long have you known this superlover of yours. And, let’s face it, to become a superlover requires practice, lots of practice. Just how many disease-ridden trollops did he learn his craft with, hmm? Okay, so a year and a half after you first took him to bed seems a little late to think about safe sex but, hell, who says you can’t make up for lost time.
The difficult part is presenting your case and having your beau agree. Should you surreptitiously just slip a Trojan on him when he’s not looking? Should you have the latex surgically attached to his nether regions for worry-free sex? Or perhaps you need to seriously reconsider your relationship because you just know his dipstick is checking out every sump in town. Never fear, Agent Double D.3 has risked life, limb and a million dollars of shares in the local prophylactic factory to bring you this special report -- Where on Earth has it been?
Agent Double D.3 reports:
1. Vampires: These fellas have been around for years. Before you were even born he’s had his share of roman orgies, naked druid sex orgies, er, religious rites. Not to mention he probably knew every whore in regency London by name and pubic hair type. Being dead kinda makes you immune to worring about things like AIDS, herpes and all those other little problems that score better on a scrabble board than on a date. But hang on for a bit and don’t immediately go for the emasculation/surgically-implanted-latex-condom solution. Being dead also means those little bugs and viral things can’t live in him either, though they can live a few short days on his skin. So, just as long as you scour his genitals with bleach and scouring powder every time before sex you’ll get along fine. If he starts to complain, well, that’s why you do it pantiless, of course…
2. Werewolves: The one thing you’ve got going for you here is that wolves mate until death. Unfortunately werewolves also tend to live a trifle longer than humans. Regardless, it means he will have had far fewer sexual encounters than his cousin the vampire. All you need to do is keep a handy thirty pack of condoms ready (that should last a couple of days) and insist on him using them. At least make him use them until the werewolf doctor has done the necessary tests and pronounced him clear. After that toss the icky things into the local recycling bin (remember colored condoms in the pink bin, plain in the white and bumpy ones in the red.) Does he feel unhappy with this state of affairs? Console him a little by tossing him a few pounds of prime rib and then artfully present yourself, pantiless and whipped cream at the ready, for dessert.
3. Ghosts: I don’t care how many condoms you buy, or how small you get them. There ain’t no way you’re going to get one to stick on this guy no matter how hard you try. Not that it matters much since physical contact isn’t your lover’s forte and even if he had a dozen lovers most bacterium will either freeze to death on contact or beat a hasty retreat to the other side of the hosts body. Be tactful, though. Your research may have determined his probable cause of death as a hefty dose of syphilis but it’s wise not to bring it up. After all, wouldn’t you rather experience the soft chills of lustful fingers than a dead man’s cold shoulder?
4. Invisible men: Don’t listen to him. Yes, we all know he is a brilliant, nay, genius of a scientist. In this instance, though, he is wrong. Just be cause he is invisible doesn’t mean the STD bugs can’t see him to infect him. Don’t be fooled by his elongated explanation of invisible condoms either. If he doesn’t wear his cover provided by you, he’s not getting under your cover either. Of course, once he’s been given the all clear by the doc, no problem. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to spray a little disinfectant over his bits when you start each lust filled session. A girl has to look after herself, you know.
5. Mermen: For some obscure reason merfolk appear to be immune to almost all of the regular STD’s. Your main problem lass, you guessed it, is crabs. And we’re talking huge suckers here not your regular run-of-the-mill guys. And watch out for those barnacles too. The best thing is to keep your legs clammed shut until you’ve performed the only known cure. Have him sit his naked butt in a pot of boiling water until you’ve cooked those suckers good. A year or two later, after he’s fully recovered, reward him with a special wine, dinner and pantiless evening. Crabcakes always go down well…
6. Incubus: Safe sex? Trust me hon, there ain’t enough condoms in the world to deal with this guy’s needs. Best if you stick with your friend Rosy Palmer on this one and let the rest of the world succumb to his disease-ridden blaze of glory. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a nice stable werewolf next time around.
7. Djinn: Mention AIDS to a djinn and you’ll find your living room suddenly full of half a dozen highly competent assistants. Let’s face it. You get a nasty illness, one flick of his tawny braid and boom, you’re in perfect health. As for catching an STD from him, come on. Have you ever seen a sick genie? (And yeah, we know all about those Persian dancing girls.) So trust him a little, or not. Either way he’ll be magicking those panties away from you in a moment's notice so why not go along with things and just enjoy. Do you really need condoms anyway?
Agent Double D.3 report ends.
02 November 2007
Don't go Fishing in the Moat
A.K.A. What Happens in DunVegas, Sorta Happens in DunVegas.
So, here you are. You've scrimped, saved, sold your auntie's jewelry and hawked a few tons of ancient Persian antiques and you've done it. You've bought a week's party vacation time for you and your girl in the ritzy spot on The Strip, DunVegas. So with pool parties, crap shoots, baccarat and slots to keep you both amused during the day, and hot tubs, whirlpools, sauna’s and other more esoteric entertainments to tickle your fancies at night. But strangely, you’re stuck. What should you take your girl to try? Take a skinny dip in the aquarium to kiss the kraken and meld with the mermaid? Fish for selkie in the moat? Toss up your chips at the poker table? Or should you find the latest in lean cuisine and try the famous DunVegas rat on a stick? What little tricks will have her oohing in delight and melting, naked, into your arms at night?
Well, never fear. Our special Agent Double D.3 has risked life, limb and baccarat to troll hidden delights in the pleasures of DunVegas. Want to know what really, tickles her nipples, and dampens her panties? And why a brown poker chip will make her giddy, and a white one will require you undertaking genital surgery. So gather your cash, and be prepared to spend with Agent Double D.3's special report on What Happens in DunVegas, Sorta Happens in DunVegas:
Agent Double D.3 reports :
1. Vampires: Well, Duckiepoo, let’s face it. You’re not going to be doing much during the day, so you’re going to have to grin and bite it while your sexy sweetheart flashes about the place in her barely concealing shorts and Tee. Be patient and bide your time, try to ignore her tales of super hunks, and swimming pool flirtations. When the moon comes out, you can swagger to the poker table, with your beloved on your arm. Now’s the time to use your special skills, charm the pants, shirt and chips off your opponents and win tons of money. Make sure you give your lass a brown chip or two. These little 5000 dollar markers, the instant panty remover, will soften her up. When you get her back to your room, and tipsy on champagne, a special version of Texas Hold-‘Em will make her, ooh, through the night. Warning, under no circumstances believe a handful of white will make her happy. Around here a dollar chip isn't even enough to make a ten percent deposit for a cola, let alone buy one and you may find a dainty stiletto heel embedded in your groin.
2. Werewolves: Massages, and moonsbane, what more could you need, besides the raw buffalo steaks in the exclusive restaurants. Oh, yes, your beloved. Ooops, how could your obsessive alpha personality forget about her? Yes, there are tons of other alpha's all waiting around the tables raising your hackles and signaling the challenge. Don't let this cause you to neglect her. Instead make sure she see the benefit of lazing by the pool. Provide a constant supply of daquiri’s delivered by that handsome, make your panties wet, bartender, and you’ll be able to play those tables to your heart’s content. Do avoid temptation and don’t let the scent of strange werekitties cause you to change and go chasing the poor pussies. If you do the Deathly Buzzing’s, Wolverine Penile Enhancer she bought might just get used with somebody else.
3. Ghosts: Yes, this is crazy. You came here expecting to be one of a few, but everywhere you look there are ghosts popping out of thin air. And they're parent’s for God’s sake. You'll find no decent hauntings here. No chance of giving the local tourists or staff a middle of the night fright. Worse still, you're chance of a quick peek in their showers is likely to end up with the PMS carting your ass off to the ectoplasmic cooler, period. Not to mention your beloved is very adverse to a bit of slap and tickle with translucent voyeurs wandering into the bedroom every five minutes. Why don't you take your sweetheart and do what you do best. Go cheat. Take her to the roulette table and, when no one can see you, just put the ball into the number she's bid on. Bingo, she’ll be a millionaire overnight. Just suggest, when you return to your room, that millionaire’s don’t wear such cheap, flimsy panties or give a fig for voyeurs. Hey, why not? It’s worked for you before…
4. Invisible men: You've just worked out there's a big disadvantage to being invisible where almost everyone can smell you coming from a mile away. So you cant do your usual party tricks ( at least not without being ripped into were snacks) big deal. Just smile, chin up and walk proudly around this fine establishment wearing your specially laundered new bandages, all subtly scented with catnip, garlic and moonsbane. Not that you're vindictive, no, you're just protecting your sweetheart. It has nothing to do with your poker opponents half collapsing at the table. Once you've won stacks of money, treated your girl to a handful of browns, and filled her with a gallon or two of DunVegas's home vintage. Now is the time to take her to your room and demonstrate the trick of the vanishing panties. Oh, if you go walkabout at night, take plenty of wooden stakes, pepper spray and a sidearm with silver bullets. Some of those poker losers are going to be pissed.
5. Mermen: Okay. Let’s try to forget you’ve just seen four of your sisters and three of your brothers squirming at the mercy of an oversexed kraken (yes we know you're going to need psychiatry for years). This is your big chance to prove to your sweetheart she means much more to you than the sea, raw fish and caviar. Yes, big scary thought. Take her to a show, a restaurant (not The Abyss. You don't want to see those guys playing with the kraken.) Later in the evening you can flip a few chips on the tables before easing into her slot, uh, easing her into the slots. Whatever you do, avoid walking anywhere except in the foyer and the casino. Yes, we also know that the whirlpool tub does wonderful tingly things to your dorsals, but why should she care if you're going to go all floppy on her?
6. Incubus: Okay, so you’ve never seen one. I’ve never seen one, in fact very few of us have ever seen one. So why the hell did you try go fishing in the moat for one? Your beloved has been excited about this trip for an entire year, and now she has to spend most of it in ER while they cut you out of Nessie's stomach. And once you're out, is she really going to fancy you now you're all covered in gunk? Give it up dude. Throw your bank balance at her and let her party while the nurses de-gunk you. Whatever you do, don't be tempted to do your thing with the nurses. The way your luck's going this week, you sweetheart is bound to find out and trust me, braised incubus sweetmeats, is the last thing you want to see on the DunVegas menu.
7. Djinn: This is almost your cup of tea. Okay, so the minarets don’t quite look right. And the doors and windows are sadly missing their arches, but the pomp and grandeur is here, in a dismal sort of way. Your recent encounter with the delectable Ms. Bast has also assured you that the sexy, dancing slave girls are still around, they just dress differently in this century. Keep a low profile and give your beloved the thrill of her life by supplying a constant stream of jackpots in those coin slot things she plays. Then fast food nachos and peppermint chocolatini’s will satisfy some of her bodily cravings. If you've played it right, and treated her well, you'll be assured of your own little jackpot tonight.
Agent Double D.3 report ends.
Don't forget guys, all Agent Double D.3 reports, along with a rare image of the lass herself, are now archived on my forum (see link below.)
Web Page : www.sjwilling.com
LiveJournal : http://hundakleptisis.livejournal.com/
MySpace : http://www.myspace.com/sjhundak_sjwilling
Newsletter : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thewillingcourier/
Forum : http://www.sjwillingforum.com
So, here you are. You've scrimped, saved, sold your auntie's jewelry and hawked a few tons of ancient Persian antiques and you've done it. You've bought a week's party vacation time for you and your girl in the ritzy spot on The Strip, DunVegas. So with pool parties, crap shoots, baccarat and slots to keep you both amused during the day, and hot tubs, whirlpools, sauna’s and other more esoteric entertainments to tickle your fancies at night. But strangely, you’re stuck. What should you take your girl to try? Take a skinny dip in the aquarium to kiss the kraken and meld with the mermaid? Fish for selkie in the moat? Toss up your chips at the poker table? Or should you find the latest in lean cuisine and try the famous DunVegas rat on a stick? What little tricks will have her oohing in delight and melting, naked, into your arms at night?
Well, never fear. Our special Agent Double D.3 has risked life, limb and baccarat to troll hidden delights in the pleasures of DunVegas. Want to know what really, tickles her nipples, and dampens her panties? And why a brown poker chip will make her giddy, and a white one will require you undertaking genital surgery. So gather your cash, and be prepared to spend with Agent Double D.3's special report on What Happens in DunVegas, Sorta Happens in DunVegas:
Agent Double D.3 reports :
1. Vampires: Well, Duckiepoo, let’s face it. You’re not going to be doing much during the day, so you’re going to have to grin and bite it while your sexy sweetheart flashes about the place in her barely concealing shorts and Tee. Be patient and bide your time, try to ignore her tales of super hunks, and swimming pool flirtations. When the moon comes out, you can swagger to the poker table, with your beloved on your arm. Now’s the time to use your special skills, charm the pants, shirt and chips off your opponents and win tons of money. Make sure you give your lass a brown chip or two. These little 5000 dollar markers, the instant panty remover, will soften her up. When you get her back to your room, and tipsy on champagne, a special version of Texas Hold-‘Em will make her, ooh, through the night. Warning, under no circumstances believe a handful of white will make her happy. Around here a dollar chip isn't even enough to make a ten percent deposit for a cola, let alone buy one and you may find a dainty stiletto heel embedded in your groin.
2. Werewolves: Massages, and moonsbane, what more could you need, besides the raw buffalo steaks in the exclusive restaurants. Oh, yes, your beloved. Ooops, how could your obsessive alpha personality forget about her? Yes, there are tons of other alpha's all waiting around the tables raising your hackles and signaling the challenge. Don't let this cause you to neglect her. Instead make sure she see the benefit of lazing by the pool. Provide a constant supply of daquiri’s delivered by that handsome, make your panties wet, bartender, and you’ll be able to play those tables to your heart’s content. Do avoid temptation and don’t let the scent of strange werekitties cause you to change and go chasing the poor pussies. If you do the Deathly Buzzing’s, Wolverine Penile Enhancer she bought might just get used with somebody else.
3. Ghosts: Yes, this is crazy. You came here expecting to be one of a few, but everywhere you look there are ghosts popping out of thin air. And they're parent’s for God’s sake. You'll find no decent hauntings here. No chance of giving the local tourists or staff a middle of the night fright. Worse still, you're chance of a quick peek in their showers is likely to end up with the PMS carting your ass off to the ectoplasmic cooler, period. Not to mention your beloved is very adverse to a bit of slap and tickle with translucent voyeurs wandering into the bedroom every five minutes. Why don't you take your sweetheart and do what you do best. Go cheat. Take her to the roulette table and, when no one can see you, just put the ball into the number she's bid on. Bingo, she’ll be a millionaire overnight. Just suggest, when you return to your room, that millionaire’s don’t wear such cheap, flimsy panties or give a fig for voyeurs. Hey, why not? It’s worked for you before…
4. Invisible men: You've just worked out there's a big disadvantage to being invisible where almost everyone can smell you coming from a mile away. So you cant do your usual party tricks ( at least not without being ripped into were snacks) big deal. Just smile, chin up and walk proudly around this fine establishment wearing your specially laundered new bandages, all subtly scented with catnip, garlic and moonsbane. Not that you're vindictive, no, you're just protecting your sweetheart. It has nothing to do with your poker opponents half collapsing at the table. Once you've won stacks of money, treated your girl to a handful of browns, and filled her with a gallon or two of DunVegas's home vintage. Now is the time to take her to your room and demonstrate the trick of the vanishing panties. Oh, if you go walkabout at night, take plenty of wooden stakes, pepper spray and a sidearm with silver bullets. Some of those poker losers are going to be pissed.
5. Mermen: Okay. Let’s try to forget you’ve just seen four of your sisters and three of your brothers squirming at the mercy of an oversexed kraken (yes we know you're going to need psychiatry for years). This is your big chance to prove to your sweetheart she means much more to you than the sea, raw fish and caviar. Yes, big scary thought. Take her to a show, a restaurant (not The Abyss. You don't want to see those guys playing with the kraken.) Later in the evening you can flip a few chips on the tables before easing into her slot, uh, easing her into the slots. Whatever you do, avoid walking anywhere except in the foyer and the casino. Yes, we also know that the whirlpool tub does wonderful tingly things to your dorsals, but why should she care if you're going to go all floppy on her?
6. Incubus: Okay, so you’ve never seen one. I’ve never seen one, in fact very few of us have ever seen one. So why the hell did you try go fishing in the moat for one? Your beloved has been excited about this trip for an entire year, and now she has to spend most of it in ER while they cut you out of Nessie's stomach. And once you're out, is she really going to fancy you now you're all covered in gunk? Give it up dude. Throw your bank balance at her and let her party while the nurses de-gunk you. Whatever you do, don't be tempted to do your thing with the nurses. The way your luck's going this week, you sweetheart is bound to find out and trust me, braised incubus sweetmeats, is the last thing you want to see on the DunVegas menu.
7. Djinn: This is almost your cup of tea. Okay, so the minarets don’t quite look right. And the doors and windows are sadly missing their arches, but the pomp and grandeur is here, in a dismal sort of way. Your recent encounter with the delectable Ms. Bast has also assured you that the sexy, dancing slave girls are still around, they just dress differently in this century. Keep a low profile and give your beloved the thrill of her life by supplying a constant stream of jackpots in those coin slot things she plays. Then fast food nachos and peppermint chocolatini’s will satisfy some of her bodily cravings. If you've played it right, and treated her well, you'll be assured of your own little jackpot tonight.
Agent Double D.3 report ends.
Don't forget guys, all Agent Double D.3 reports, along with a rare image of the lass herself, are now archived on my forum (see link below.)
Web Page : www.sjwilling.com
LiveJournal : http://hundakleptisis.livejournal.com/
MySpace : http://www.myspace.com/sjhundak_sjwilling
Newsletter : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thewillingcourier/
Forum : http://www.sjwillingforum.com
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