Last week was Banned Books Week, and it got me thinking. When books get banned, the banners are attempting to reduce their availability, to reduce the number of readers of that book. They think it should Not. Be. Read. Yet when a book shows up on the banned books list, I wonder if it has the exact opposite effect and people seek it out?
So I have to ask myself. Would anybody ever care to ban one of MY books so people would be more inclined to read them to protect our freedom of speech? I don't know, but just in case, I've compiled a handy list of thirteen reasons why people might want to ban my books.
At last count my books contain:
1) Violence (gnome vs human, fey vs human, human vs human, human vs door, human vs cellphone)
2) Sex (not with gnomes)
3) Cussing (of the colorful variety)
4) 80's music (no, not like those "Sound" cards...you have to imagine it...but still)
5) Drinking (and subsequent disorderly behavior)
6) Paranormal elements (fairies and gnomes and leprechauns, oh my!)
7) The presence of various religions (and disrespect towards them too)
8) Unwise clothing choices (call the fashion police)
9) Somewhat uncivil disobedience (really, a lot of the characters are uncivil)
10) Poor dietary choices (not a good example for health nuts or dieters)
11) Dancing (in sheets, out of sheets, underground, above ground)
12) Mouthy women (who don't get much comeuppance, no indeedy)
13) Puns (I saved the worst for last)
****
Jody Wallace
http://www.jodywallace.com/ * http://www.meankitty.com/
Come check out my current contest to win free books and other prizes! http://www.jodywallace.com/contests.htm
1) Violence (gnome vs human, fey vs human, human vs human, human vs door, human vs cellphone)
2) Sex (not with gnomes)
3) Cussing (of the colorful variety)
4) 80's music (no, not like those "Sound" cards...you have to imagine it...but still)
5) Drinking (and subsequent disorderly behavior)
6) Paranormal elements (fairies and gnomes and leprechauns, oh my!)
7) The presence of various religions (and disrespect towards them too)
8) Unwise clothing choices (call the fashion police)
9) Somewhat uncivil disobedience (really, a lot of the characters are uncivil)
10) Poor dietary choices (not a good example for health nuts or dieters)
11) Dancing (in sheets, out of sheets, underground, above ground)12) Mouthy women (who don't get much comeuppance, no indeedy)
13) Puns (I saved the worst for last)
****
Jody Wallace
http://www.jodywallace.com/ * http://www.meankitty.com/
Come check out my current contest to win free books and other prizes! http://www.jodywallace.com/contests.htm
Read about my upcoming Samhain release "What She Deserves" here: http://www.jodywallace.com/books/whatshedeserves.htm
6 comments:
I'd ban your books in a heartbeat.
I mean, I was fine with #1-12 but 13! #13 did you in.
*busily drafts letter to local library to pull all books with puns from shelves*
Yep,I see your point. Puns are quite dangerous, almost as dangerous as unwise clothing choices and 80's music. Happy TT anyway.
I love it!! Or should I say, I hate it and that is it....these books must be banned at once! The fairies and gnomes were okay, but once I saw that there were leprechauns, I knew that something must be done!
Happy TT!
Human vs door. I can relate to that.
Yeah, I'd ban them too. They sound as if they're going to be a terribly bad influence on us all. :)
[[Mouthy women (who don't get much comeuppance]]
[spewing] Comeuppance. She said comeuppance. heh heh heh
Sorry, my mind is in the gutter today. ;)
Ahem.
Just the amount of bare skin alone should get "those kinds of books" banned. I mean, really. What decent woman wants to carry around a book with exposed, ripped...abs...and, and...ahhh, wide, muscular...shoulders...mmmm, yes.
I mean, BAN THEM! BAN THEM ALL!!!
Post a Comment