01 November 2012

Thirteen Dubious Halloween Candies

At Beyond the Veil in November, bloggers are going to be talking about romance genre heroines or the influence of history on our writing. Some might be talking about the influence of history on romance genre heroines...or romance heroines throughout history...because we have some particularly clever bloggers here. As I'm in a post-Halloween candy fugue, today I'm not one of them.

Today I'm lucky to be sharing a list of thirteen dubious types of candy in my kid's Halloween haul. None of these candies are contributors to my fugue today, I'm proud to say...

1) Eyeballs. We haven't opened one yet, but the foil wrapping looks like an eyeball. Wonder if it's chocolate?
2) Smaller eyeballs. These aren't in foil but are in unlabeled packaging. No label on the packaging makes me instantly dubious.
3) Squishy crab-shaped things. Packaging yet again has no labels. They look like gummy versions of the coconut crab (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coconut_crab) . Coconut is good, but the crab--no thanks. (However, these images are for your nightmares! http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/news-incredible-photos-coconut-crab?image=0)
4) Bones. I guess these are hard sugar candies? There's no label on the packaging. Shocker. I'm just not a fan of putting unlabeled food items in my mouth.
5) Pixie sticks. Dubious because...what is the point? There's chocolate to be had.
6) Candy corn. I know some folks enjoy the waxy edible, but I'd rather eat chocolate. Though I did crochet a jaunty candy corn hat that we all fight over on Halloween.
7) Halloween Peeps. Just no. Chocolate can't even save them; they're all around grody.
8) Tigerpops. It's a sucker. Is it full of tiger's blood? Will it make you act like Charlie Sheen?
9) Jawbreakers / Jawbusters (the package has both names). What is it, jaws of life for if you get a Tootsie Roll stuck between your teeth?
10) Christmas candy. Christmas. Candy. In October. Either somebody time traveled or this is some damn old chocolate. Into the trash with ye!
11) Laffy Taffy. After one nibble, trust me, you won't be laughing.
12) Flavor Morph. It's small, it's square, it's generic, and it's not chocolate. Nuff said.
13) Airheads. I don't even know what it is. Maybe I'll make one of the kids taste it so my mockery can be more specific next year.

Hopefully the rest of the bloggers this month will be more on topic! But at least I kept it short...


Jody Wallace
Author, Cat Person, Amigurumist
http://www.jodywallace.com  * http://www.meankitty.com  
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