Ten Typical Summer Activities for Write-At-Home Parents

Ten Typical Summer Activities (for romance writer parents with kids at home)

1) Answering questions! Like: Can we spray paint in the house? Can we jump on the bed? Why does the cat's skin look so funny when you cut the hair off it? Where are my shoes? Why can't I have candy? Why is it SO HOT outside? Are you done writing yet? Why do we have to take a bath? What's for dinner? What's that? EWWWW! (Not a question, but still requires an answer)

2) Cleaning up after kids! Like: spray paint in the house, beds that look like buffalos stampeded them, cat hair all over the carpet, shoes mysteriously behind the washing machine, candy stuck in hair, bathrooms with an inch of water in the floor and a bunch of towels, dirty dishes, etc.

3) Researching your book! Including: No, don't come look at my computer. I know it made noise, but DO NOT come look. Get out of my room. What do you mean, why do those men have no clothes on? It's a movie trailer. About men. No, I don't know if there are any princesses in it. No, it's not Disney. It's called Magic Mike. No, there are no wizards. No, that isn't Harry Potter. Well, it's very hot where they work and they took their clothes off. Yes, like I do when I get a hot flash. Look, you really need to go spray paint the cat now so I can get back to work.

4) Writing your book! (see items 1-3 for potential interruptions)

5) Writing your book some more!
DAY ONE: The first line. No, honey, Mommy is working today. The first page. Seriously, honey, we all talked about this. I have to work today. The first line again. Kids, I'm really serious now. If you come in here again, no more TV all day. The first chapter. Yes, I know it's lunchtime...fix some cereal. Remember, we had an agreement. If you two want to go to the pool, you have to leave me alone today. The first paragraph of the second chapter. Yes, you can turn on the TV. I was just kidding about no TV. But seriously. Let me work in peace. The next two pages of the second chapter. YOU DID WHAT??? *clean, clean, clean.* The first chapter again, adding a murder on the second page. The first line again. The first paragraph again to foreshadow the murder. The first page again. God, I'm tired of this chapter. Why can't I get focused on it? I suck. I think I'll just skip ahead. The third chapter. No, I'm not taking you to the pool right now. The agreement was to leave me alone ALL DAY, and you haven't exactly kept up your end of the bargain. Oh, quit crying. Guys, quit crying. DO NOT EAT THAT.
DAY TWO: DELETE DOCUMENT. Start again. The first line....

6) Editing your manuscript! Tips include: how to increase the heat in your love scenes when the kids are fighting over action figures behind your recliner; deepening character motivation when the only thing you want to do is hide in your bathroom; and what to do when your little kids get big enough...to read your manuscript over your shoulder.

7) Reading for research and pleasure! Note: since your little kids are big enough to read over your shoulder, you will need to purchase an ebook reader or fancy phone. Note 2: since your little kids also like to play with electronics, you will need to keep your ebook reader or fancy phone out of their reach. Note 3: This will mean your ebook reader and fancy phone can only come out after the kids go to bed. Note 4: Which, in the summer, is hellishly late. Note 5: But you can still crawl into bed after a fun day of writing and fighting and do your pleasure reading then! Note 6: Take out a warranty on your ebook reader or fancy phone, because it may not turn on after the 8th time it slides off the bed while you sleep and into the floor, to be stepped on by the child who gets up at 2 AM to let you know "she's just going to pee...she's not puking...don't worry, Mom."

8) Book shopping! On the list: the next book in your favorite urban fantasy series, that hot NYT bestseller... Hm, what, honey? Yes, there's a nice tie on my book. What's it about? Oh, um, art. You know, all the different versions of grey. No, you can't read it. Yes, I agree, you're a great artist, that's why you don't need to read it. Can you sit down right here and look at...Mommy's fancy phone while I... No, wait, not my Kindle app! Play this game. Yes. Now, where was I?
A debut author's book I heard about on Twitter, an ebook reader clip-on light, a book about dinosaur poop... Hey! Who wrote this on my list? Dad did? Oh, really? I guess we can get it. It is a book. Where was I? Oh.

The latest romance from... No, you can't have that. Put that back. If you break it... Yes, I guess we're buying it. Because it's broken. No, I'm not going to get the one that isn't broken. Yes, I know it's broken, but you broke it. What good will it be for the next kid who wants one? They don't want a broken one either. No, I'm not taking it out of your allowance. You already lost your allowance because you... Oh, Dad gave it to you? Oh, really? Well, maybe he doesn't get this shit book then, because I told him not to. Hush, I know I cussed. Because I'm a grown up and grown ups get to cuss. No, you can't... Stop saying that. Because it's ugly. Look, can you just get the one that isn't broken so we can go?

9) Fun outdoor water activities! Including: Somebody go water the plants. Did you turn off the hose? Somebody go back out there and turn off the hose. There's a what on the handle? A spider? You turned it on, didn't you? Was it there when you turned it on? Just spray it off with the hose...seeing as you left it on and all. How did you get so wet? You're dripping on the hardwood floor, take off your... Yes, I see that, you're Magic Mike. Uh-huh, it was very hot outside, except for the cold water you used to spray yourself and that spider. Did you turn off the hose? Why didn't you... NO NO NO DO NOT GO OUTSIDE NAKED! Come back here!

10) Invigorating family vacations! Favorite location: Grandma's house. I know we went to the beach last year, but this year we're going to Grandma's. Oh, your friend went to Disneyworld? We'll go when you're older. Old enough to drive, probably. And get a job. Ok, I'm kidding, the real answer is never. Why? No, we aren't poor. Because we like having a small house, it's easier to clean. Because you two kids never help Mommy and Daddy clean it, is why it stays dirty. No, it's not because I'm always on the computer. How can I always be on the computer when I'm constantly getting off the computer to do things for you? Grandma has a computer. And a hose. Oh, I think Grandma would love that. It's probably not quite as hot at Grandma's house as it is at our house. No, I don't think Grandma knows who Magic Mike is. Probably. But you never know with Grandma.

Any other writer parents out there with exciting summer stories to share?

 

School starts in 3 days.

Jody W.
http://www.jodywallace.com * http://www.meankitty.com

PS: latest release, Stalking Evan! There is some Magic Miking going on in here too. http://www.jodywallace.com/fiction/stalkingevan.htm

The end is here...

For the first time ever, I actually attended a midnight movie premier. Yep. I was there in a theater packed to the rafters, although my muggle costume was rather ordinary compared to the person with a snake around his neck and numerous others in Hogwarts' style robes. True fans are an interesting lot. ;)

It's been a busy week: a short family trip out of town; Harry Potter premier; and, of course, our oldest son's 16th birthday -- the best part of it all.

I'm left feeling both tired and satisfied with the way things turned out all around. Yet, a part of me is a little sad, as well.

While our family trip was fun, it wasn't quite the same as when the kids were little. They aren't as easily entertained and amazed. ;) Also, though I'm not a true HP fanatic, I do think it's sad that we don't have another movie 'coming soon'.

The most bitter-sweet aspect has been watching my little boy grow into a thoughtful, intelligent and funny young man. I'm proud of the person he's becoming, even while a part of me misses the little guy who used to build with blocks for hours and loved to cuddle. Yes, that was many years ago, and yet, I remember it as if it were yesterday.

We may have said good-bye to Harry and company today, but we can re-visit them in both books and movie form. Daily if we should so desire. If only we could return to our childrens' childhoods as easily, even for a few hours.

~~Meg Allison

Indulge your senses...
http://www.megallisonauthor.com

Life's too short to wear boring socks...

When I was a teenager, I longed to be one of those girls who seamlessly pulled off the 'preppy' look. They always looked neat... chic... right down to their socks that invariably matched the rest of their outfit.

Alas, I've never been a trend setter. I'm more the girl who catches on a day late and a dollar short. And I can never keep track of matching socks. :\ I'll spend ten or fifteen minutes some days looking for two clean ones that go together -- an exact match, if I'm lucky.

My daughters have gotten me to loosen up a bit over the years. They love those funky little patterned/colored socks you find at most stores. You know -- green and red for Christmas; black and orange for Halloween; pink, red, and more pink for Valentine's Day; etc. All with various designs that are NOT in the preppy category.

They like them because they're cute. It's a small way to express their individuality in a world where we're expected to conform to social norms, or abnormalities, as the case may be. ;) I like them because they're comfy.

Okay, I admit, knowing I'm wearing orange stripes with black bats taking wing up and down my calves is fun. Besides, few people can see them except for a glimpse now and then. Those that do might wonder at my quirkiness, but that's okay. I have five children; we home school; I've been married once and to the same man for over twenty years. Only marriage for each of us. I think I've earned my 'quirk'. (GGG)

It's one way to express my personality without being in-your-face. I'm quiet...shy...reserved. I love watching people. I love music and furry animals. I love my kids and my dh. And I do love funky socks.

~~Meg Allison

http://www.megallisonauthor.com

How mature are you?

Yesterday I went to visit my daughter, son-in-law, and their three children. Yes, I had a wonderful time! I also noticed something interesting: as the evening wore on, it became harder to figure out who was most mature. There was my overwhelmed daughter, the voice of reason throughout the evening. She wins most mature overall. Then things got interesting.

Youngest was the nineteen month old. Calm, happy, and fun to play with. And the most mature of the three kids. The seven year old, who should have been the most mature, was all over the place. Rowdy, mouthy, and frequently very, very sweet. He had his moments of maturity, but also moments where he seemed very much the child he is. The way it should be, I believe.

Then there was the five year old. Sweet at times, a holy terror at others, she shot shivers up every adult’s spine with her frequent “no’s” to anything she was asked to do. She’s adorable, though, and laughs all the time. We hope her desire to rule the world is a phase. Meanwhile, she stays in trouble a lot.

Then there was my son-in-law. Just home from a stressful job, he took time out to chill. And then he became the silliest one of us. Mature? Maybe not, but then, he deserves to leave his mature work persona behind.

But what about my daughter? As a stay-at-home mom, she always has to be mature. Always in charge, always having to be the voice of reason. I think she needs to relax. In fact, I think there’s a grandmother/writer/very mature woman (okay, maybe not), who needs to relax too. I see a mother-daughter lunch date in our future. With shopping. We can’t be mature all the time. Right?

Have an immature weekend, including lots of silly fun!

Cheryel

www.cheryelhutton.com

What color is your sky?

As a child I saw things differently. I was afraid of the dark, or rather, afraid of the things that lurked there. I was always afraid of the possibility of seeing ghosts though my best friend for years was a girl of unknown origins and looks. At least to my mother, who couldn't see her.

Like most children, my imagination roamed free. A hairbrush was a microphone. The bed a stage. A shadow could be a monster or some horrible beast that would drag me away, never to be seen again. And of course, I didn't dare look under that bed at night.

But now I'm an adult and things have changed. Um, well, a little. I'm no longer afraid of the dark. I prefer it. I will admit, many of my 'friends' are still invisible to most. However, that shadow near the forest at the end of our driveway is not seen as a monster or beast. Obviously it's the spirit of a long-dead Native American, protecting what was once his people's land. I just might write his story someday.

Children are amazing. They have such capacity for 'what-if' and are willing to accept so much. But as they grow, they learn from us adults that there aren't monsters under the bed or in the forest. The sky isn't purple, it's blue. The grass shouldn't be colored red, it's green. And don't forget to stay inside the lines. Little by little, their imaginations are reined in until many of them forget how to use them. They forget how to dream.

Luckily many of us never quite let go of childhood. We thumb our noses at authority and keep coloring those pictures any way we see fit. And so an artist is born... or an inventor... another Einstein... an actor... a musician... a writer.

Luckily, my mother taught me that there is more to life than what I can see. (Insert a nod to Shakespeare at this point.) She taught me so many things through example and words. So many things about this world and the next. And so I am still a child inside. I hold on to the notion that yes, sometimes the sky is purple. And pink. And blazing orange. Somewhere the grass may be red. And those shadows? They're ghosts... or shapeshifters... or faeries.

My youngest son -- now nine -- is ever the dreamer. He often seems to be immersed in his own, happy world. We once asked him what the color of the sky was in his world.

"Orange," he replied, not missing a beat. I hope he always sees it that way.

So what about you? What color do you see when you look up?