27 July 2008

Thanks to those who tormented me

The Ankh of Isis has been out for almost two weeks. It's the last release I have contracted - which means I need to write faster! Things have been busy here, between trying to find a full-time job for the fall, and getting through my summer college courses, that I'm still not done the first draft of the next book in the series. But I soldier on.

Anyway, yesterday, I read on a friend's blog that she had received a message on Facebook from an old "friend" from school. The note was light and friendly, like these two were best friends, old chums. My friend had no idea how to respond, because she saw history from a different point of view - this person who sent the note had tormented her through school.

I told her to respond politely, and let it go. I can give this advice because I've taken it myself. My friend, like me, did not fit in well at school. She had a undiagnosed genetic disorder which caused her to be thin, ill-looking, with sallow skin and bad teeth most of her life (she's since gotten medical attention and looks great now). My genes played with me as well - my father's bad eyes and my mother's tendency for weight gain. No matter that I played soccer, softball, and took dance lessons until I was twelve, after the age of seven or so I put on weight. I couldn't have gotten my mother's good eyes and father's tendency to stay thin (my middle sister was blessed with the thin genes) - no. Like my friend, I was teased and tormented most of the way through school. Painful memories, an lots of doubts and feeling badly about myself.

Eventually, somewhere around late High School, I found my niche - the drama club.

There were advantages to this life of teasing, which I've only discovered as an adult, and to which I tell my friend she should also say thank you to those who tortured her as a child. First of all, it wasn't like I had no friends at all. And the ones I had were true, not transient or the cliche-based, fair weather kind. I still talk to most of them.

Secondly - "those" people peaked back then. It's all been downhill for them since. I've seen them, and for some it's just sad. Not for all, some have done well (bastids). Meanwhile, we've risen. Much like how geeks run the world. Those that were picked on for being smart or tech and science minded - they have all the money, duh! Most actors, if you ask them, were part of this club of the tormented when they were younger. Many of us went into the arts, and we're making our mark. Where are they?

Third - those that broke us down in school helped turn us into the strong, independent, creative people we are today. They're not totally responsible, we did a lot of the work ourselves, but without them we wouldn't be who we are today. I probably wouldn't be writing.

And I rather like me. So while I've let all that pain go (finally), I say thanks to those who helped to shape me into me.

I told my friend to let it go and respond politely. Being gracious is the best revenge, right after being successful.

Have a great weekend!

Post a Comment