27 March 2009

Heroes I just can't buy...


...In romance novels.

Among the dozens of cops, spies, cowboys and millionaires, there are just a few types of heroes that will keep me from buying a book. Yes, some of it comes from my own prejudices; my own experiences. But I think we each carry some stereotypes around -- ones that are really hard to break.

So here's a list of heroes that I, personally don't want to read about in a romance:

1. The Amish hero -- I'm sorry. I've tried, believe me. I even bought one such book a few years ago. Despite the author's diligent efforts to raise the man to hero status, it just didn't work for me.

Explanation: I live in Amish country... not in the heart of it, but close enough. In general, they are an interesting sect with high ideals and a fantastic work-ethic. But I have a hard time getting past what I've seen in real life to give any fictional Amish hero a chance. The scraggly beards, for one, just kill the idea. And then there are the stories I've heard... but suffice to say, I'm rather shallow.

2. The car salesman -- I don't like pushy, overbearing people. Car salesmen, unfortunately, have this image firmly in place.

3. The politician -- Yes, I've become very jaded over the last twenty years. Politicians are not, in my estimation, glamorous or sexy. I'd much rather have that honest, hard-working cowboy with mud on his boots.

4. The gynecologist -- Do I really have to explain this one?

5. The professional wrestler / cage fighter / boxer / etc -- I hear an uproar in cyberland! But I have a hard time appreciating any man who enjoys beating the hell out of someone else on a regular basis.

6. The pastor / Reverend / etc -- The only type of novel this hero 'works' in, IMHO, is the Inspirational romance. I don't read those very often. In sexy romances, a man of this calling should live his religion, in other words: no sex outside of marriage. Yep, I'm serious. So if he's being true to himself -- to his vocation and beliefs, then fine. I'll give the book a try. If not, he's a hypocrite and I really don't like hypocritical heroes.

Does anyone want to add to the list?
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