12 February 2010

It's Valentine's Day! Do you Celebrate?

Sunday marks the day almost every woman in America has strong feelings toward. Love it? Hate it? Boycott it?

That's right, VALENTINE'S DAY. The day the men in our lives are supposed to come up to snuff and show us how we make their world go around.

But what if you're single and heartily embracing the fact? Or divorced and just not ready to dip your toes back into the dating pool? Or, like me, have a husband who is often away? Does the day really matter then?

I've been married for ten years this year. Amazing how time flies. And, I'll admit it, the first few years, I put a lot of stock in waiting to see what he came up with for Valentine's Day. As the years went by and we spent more holidays apart (and far too much money on flowers that died far too soon), I began to realize something.

My husband shows me he loves me all year long, so why does it matter if he spends three times what a bouquet of lilies runs any other time of the year to have them delivered on Valentine's Day out of a sense of obligation not to disappoint me? Or struggles with hundreds of other would be Romeo's to get one of those fancy reservations at a decent restaurant?

It doesn't. After sharing him with the Navy for ten years, none of those things are important. It's just another day. This year, we'll spend it with a telephone call from Haiti where he is serving onboard the USNS Comfort aiding in the earthquake relief effort. And, if he had not been deployed, we had agreed to spend the day together because that's the one thing money can't buy - TIME.

But what if you're divorced and still off the market or embracing your single status?

Back when I was single and loving it, it used to drive me up the walls to have attached women do the pat-me-on-the-shoulder thing in sympathy that I didn't have anyone to do special things for me. Hello? I WAS NOT SINGLE BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD HAVE ME!! I was single because I wasn't ready to settle down and hadn't yet met the man who would change my mind.

And that's what is wrong with Valentine's Day. It's full of expectations, expenses, disappoints, and stress. Some of us have true romantics as significant others who really do enjoy plotting the ultimate Romantic Evening, or day, or lunch...you get the point. :) But those are th expectation

For the rest of us, there are other ways to enjoy the romance in the air. Read a good book! You knew that was coming, right? :) Or maybe take a long bubble bath or soak in the hot tub. Take a few hours out of your weekend to recharge your batteries and pamper yourself.

And, if you know someone who is bacheloretting the weekend, please don't do the sympathy thing unless she's truly in the pits about being alone when every commercial is touting love and romance. She may just be plotting her next single foray into that ocean of men still waiting for the right bait.

Do you have plans? Or would you like to share the most romantic Valentine's Day you've had? How about the worst?
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