I'm a product of the foster care system. In a lot of ways, my life does read like a Lifetime movie. It's one of the reasons I write Paranormal Romances. I have always written to escape my reality, not embrace it. Having said that, it's impossible for my past not to bleed into my work.
When the concept for the Ladies of St. George popped into my head, I initially shelved it. I thought the idea of a bunch of damaged heroines wouldn't make good romances. And then I heard Destiny. After writing the opening scene, I talked to a friend about my concerns. Her answer? Write what you know. One of the reasons Bella is so engaging is that she's real.
So, I did. I took all the isolation, anxiety, and personal backstory into the St. George world. You see, I know what it's like to live life without a safety net; to know that every decision, good or bad, will have irrevocable consequences. I never had anyone to bail me out if I made a wrong move. In college, I worked two, sometimes three, jobs to make ends meet because not earning that degree simply wasn't an option. I had nowhere to go and no marketable skills without it. At a college filled with silver-spooners, it was hard to watch my fellow students squander Mommy and Daddy's money because they didn't care.
But I carried more than that into my St. George heroines. I don't make friends easily. Growing up, the one thing foster homes and abusive homes have in common is that friendships are discouraged. In abusive homes, it's to keep the abuse hidden. In foster homes, it's to ensure a smooth turn-over when it's time to move on to the next one, usually after you cross an age milestone or when your usefulness has ended. That teaches you to be fiercely loyal to those you have the opportunity to grow close to and to hold onto those fragile bonds as long as you possibly can.
Another thing the St. George heroines have in common is the way they value simple things. I never had a milestone celebrated: birthdays, graduations, personal accomplishments, etc. Anything that involved being valued? I was left out in the cold. The only value a foster child has is the rent they bring in. What it taught me was that small things matter, especially those that require personal attention to details.
What I like about my Ladies of St. George series is that I can fold up all the bad parts of my life and spin it into a story where all the weaknesses become strengths and there is always a happy ending.
In BLOOD AND DESTINY, I hear a lot about Yasmine and Destiny with their different life paths. When I introduced Grace in CHRISTMAS GRACE, my inbox was flooded with notes asking about her backstory.
I'm glad people like the St. George heroines because they aren't a mirror of my own life experiences. I'm not using myself as their model. I'm writing stories about how circumstances beyond our youthful control turn us into the women we are as adults. What's cool about that is how each personality morphs the same isolating childhood into a productive life. And how they turn those needs toward the men they chose to share their life with. Yasmine turned hers into a need to create a family, to give to her child the loving home she never had, and that lead her to Kale, alpha family man. Destiny flipped the other switch and became afraid of commitment, of being thrown away when her usefulness was over. So, Destiny fell in love with a vampire who would not only outlive her, but couldn't understand monogamy. Grace turned her demons into the need to put herself first. After all, if she's not going to look out for her interests, no one else is going to care enough to do it for her.
And for you? What parts of your personal backstory lead you down the road you traveled? What part of your own deep needs can you pinpoint to an incident in your past? Me? Well, the reason Yasmine doesn't have a book is because I share her needs. After having a childhood where there were no celebrations, I wanted to give my children everything I had been denied. So far, I'm doing all right.
9 comments:
We are greater than the sum of our experiences, and that informs everything we write. The more we know about humanity, the richer and deeper our characters become--and that's the kind of knowing readers are really interested in.
My dad was a product of orphanages and the foster care system in the 1930s, so your experiences sound very familiar to the stories I heard growing up. He emerged with a fierce sense of loyalty to those few people he chose to love and a personal mantra: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
SO very true, Jean Marie! And when you're strong, you can do anything you set out to do because you don't expect it to be easy. :) Hugs to your dad!
I'm an only child in a large extended family of siblings everywhere you turn. I'm also the only person in that extended family to have attended private school and that educational gap left me little in common with my cousins and other neighborhood kids.
I think my sense of isolation and my natural inclination for peer-family comes through in my stories every time.
{{{Jean Marie}}} {{{Kaye}}}
Oh Kaye, my heart aches for you! Every child should be cherished, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through life without someones arms to catch you if you fell. I admire you so much for rising above it and finding success when the easiest thing in the world would have been to give up and blame the world. Can't wait to start reading this series. :)
Hugs Xakara and Ann.
It's funny how where we come from always leaks in, isn't it Xakara?
And Ann, thank you. I hope you enjoy the Ladies of St. George. There are some free shorts available on my website, if you want a taste. Book 1 is BLOOD AND DESTINY and already available. Book 2 is Grace's story. Stay tuned for updates on that one. :)
www.kayechambers.com
Kaye
Kaye, I think there's no way around it. Where we come from and where we are will always make itself known. Emptiness will try to fill itself and joy will try to share itself. It's what we are!
~X
Yeah, I know what you mean about the "what is a child worth" situation within much of the foster care system, that was me growing up too. I think that's one of the reasons I write strong families and strong communities, it's what I always wished I had. It's what I am trying to build for my own children.
Sometimes it doesn't always have to be "write what you know" but "know what you write".
Hugs, Moondancer!
And you're right. I write the kind of family I always prayed for as a child because that's my ideal. :) And it's what I'm building for my children, too.
:)
As a lifelong survivor or rheumatoid arthritis, I can relate to how you feel. Especially the part about watching other people take their good fortune for granted.
Though I honestly wouldn't trade my life for anything, I find myself getting annoyed, even angry, as I watch other people willfully destroy their health, as if they think they'll always have a second chance.
It doesn't work that way. I guess that's why I like to write characters who grab, or who learn to grab, life with both hands and hang on for the ride.
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