14 August 2007

Paranormal Creature Combinations

Just like last time's Paranormal Uncute Meets, I'm working on my blog entry way too late, after grocery shopping, and aided in no small part by the hooting and laughing of my younger sister, who is sometimes an aspiring writer but most of the time just a freeloader. Okay, not really. But she is here and we are in a late-night fit of the sillies. So you have been warned, and if the following list (yes, yes, another list) is too silly for you, it's her fault, not mine.

(Don't we sound like sisters?)

Today's wackiness is Weird Paranormal Creature Combinations. Since paranormal laws are made to be bent by the writer, here are some crossbreeds that may be a little too bent.

1) The vampire ghost. When he tries to bite you, his teeth go right through your neck. There are 2 types: the vampost is a vampire who was dusted and became a ghost, and the gopire is a ghost who was bitten by a vampost (because they can bite other ghosts). My sister adds that the vampire's supernatural strength would come in handy for those damn chains the ghost has to lug around.

2) The were merperson. Considering only the human half of this creature shifts into the other form, a wolf with a fish tail -- what if, in his shifter frenzy, he tried to eat himself? I mean, wolves love salmon, right? Those sled dogs live on it. Besides, if they're lurking around on the ocean floor, how will they know when it's a full moon, anyway?

3) Time travelling centaur. This is a particularly challenging combination since travelers are required to blend in to whatever era their time travelling drops them into. If our traveler was half horse, half hunk, it would make it really hard to be innocuous. Even in the Old West.

4) Frankenfairy. Doc Tinkerbelle knocked back one too many nectar on the beaches and cobbled together this lumpy green monstrosity from leftover elves, goblins, fairies and a couple Dodge mufflers. Stitched together with spider web, Frankenfairy just wants to be your friend!

5) The incredible shrinking dragon. When said dragon is involved in territory wars with normal sized dragons, and when he cannot control his abilities, this shrinking curse would not be handy. From Smaug to Mushu in the blink of an eye! Due to the high mortality rates, this breed would not lend itself to the ever-popular romance series.

6) Zombie incubus. My sister is making me include this one. Zombies lose parts. Incubi use certain parts a lot. Nuff said.

7) Mummy hobbit warlock from outer space. This one presents less of a writing challenge and proves that my sister and I really ARE up too late. And on that note....

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Jody W.
A SPELL FOR SUSANNAH--Winter 2008, Samhain Publishing
http://www.jodywallace.com * http://meankittybox.blogspot.com
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