12 September 2007

Which would you chose?


If you could choose to be any sort of supernatural character, first off, would you? And if so, which one?


I've gone over the pros and cons and today I'm all about the Blood Babes. Vampiressesssess: Okay, I can't stop saying that once I start.


Pros:

Immortal. I'd have mind control over people and have people get me chocolate any time I wanted. I'm sure I could eat it if I melted it first and sucked it down. If nothing else, I could make them eat it then suck their blood. Come to me, you little chocolate filled bonbon, you. Actually, I say that now, so there'd be absolutely no change for me on that one.


As a vamp I'd have an inherent ability to blend in with the upper class because my fangs would automatically cause me to lisp in a cool foreign accent. Although, knowing me, it'd probably still come out De children of de night, what beeyoootiful music they make, yall. Vamps are on a liquid diet, so they're all really thin, hot, and sexy, with fangs to use against anyone who says different.


I'd be a dermatologist's dream; the poster child for the phrase 'no such thing as a safe tan'; the the go to goth girl. Wait, I don't think so. I'd probably invest in one of those spray tan machines because I'm not really into being that transparent. However, I do solemnly swear that I'll never go to Jessica Simpson Defcon Orange Level, Vamp's honor.


Cons:

Watch out for killer wood! I'll never be able to pick my teeth again, stakes are really bad and splinters must be avoided at all costs.


Go for the Gold! Silver jewelry is out. I can always substitue white gold though, but will it look good against my creamy flawless alabaster skin? Wait, I've got the spray on tan machine. Hmm.


Holy Water Sports, Batman! So, I can't go to church or be around crosses. Or can I? Depends on what books I've read. To quote the big green icky dude in Salem's Lot. "That only works in the movies, fool!" I'd wear a tasteful gold crucifix, just to mess with mortal's minds. *Note: Make sure I won't look like the big green icky dude.. ever*


That's a Spicy Meatball! Garlic is a purifier which is why it's protection against the undead. But if I'm going to be a vamp, I'm going to be a clean, sweet, fresh smelling one, so I'm not going near some funky graveyard in the first place. Plus, I'm sure I'll be on a low carb liquid diet I won't be eating any pizza or spaghetti lovers, therefore, no garlic. Voila! I'm good on this one!


Men think vampy vixens are sexy because they're drawn to their deep dark mysterious beauty. Oh please! They want some action, yall! Vamps give good fang, meaning they can almost guarantee their partners achieve the petite morte or the Big O. But beware, because while vamps reel you in with the promise of the 'little death' you could also get big death too.


So, do you know what suped up sexy creature you'd be? I've semi-decided on a vampire vixen, but I'm not totally sold. After all, once you go bat you can never go back, right?


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