24 March 2010

Parenthood - There is no cheap Matinee

If anyone told me three years ago I'd be walking a tightrope with one of my children, I never would have believed them. I have a daughter who is now mere months away from her 20th birthday. She is an intelligent (A/B student in high school), sweet girl with a heart of gold. Everyone jokingly called her "smiley" or "giggles" but I don't see that in her very often these days. The cause? A relationship with a guy that worries me. Why couldn't she have gone to college or find a job with benefits and stability (starting a career) instead of the local pizza joint?

As adults, we've made our mistakes and have experienced things we wished we had the ability to go back in time and change. I have many. But, how do you get your kids to listen? Immature, controlling and a future that holds very little are traits this boy posses, and it scares the hell out of me they will go from "engaged" to "married". I find myself holding my tongue to keep from alienating my daughter.

On the other hand, there is my thirteen year old boy. He's the typical boy hooked on Xbox and plays online with his friends more than I agree with, but we're working on that. I give him slack because he does very well in school. In fact, he gets calls daily from friends about homework, which he plays off by complaining about in a gruff manner. I call him a "closet nerd" because he is so bright. Unfortunately, he lands himself on lunch detention daily because of his mouth. He claims freedom of speech, but I'm trying to get him to understand there is a time and place for his opinion. The classroom is not it. Of course my words go in one ear and out the other. He's portraying a typical teenage boy showing his plume of feathers.

My son has five more years of school ahead of him, and it worries me what the future will hold. Will he continue to keep the part of him, though small, that is considerate and helpful (at least when asked) or will he migrate fully to the dark side?

Ah, the perils of parenthood. Keeps life interesting, but I'd like not have so much entertainment.


azteclady said...


With a soon to be 22yo son and a daughter who'll turn 18 later this year, I know exactly what you mean.

All we can do is wait, trust them to navigate their own lives--and be there if they need support, comfort and/or love.

Sela Carsen said...

Oh! No, this wasn't me. Diane was having trouble posting, so I put it up for her, but it still showed up under my name. *oops*